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Sex mobile phone sms text messages
  • I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

  • I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !

  • Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.

  • Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.

  • Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !

  • Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.

  • The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!

  • What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!

  • The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places

  • Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!

  • What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!

  • A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !

  • God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *

  • Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

  • What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...

  • Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!

  • Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!

  • Sex is like Nike, just do it.

  • Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

  • How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??

  • When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

  • Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

  • Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!

  • What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!

  • Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

  • The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
    Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

  • If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

  • Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness

  • The difference between erotic and perverted:
    Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
    Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.

  • A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

  • What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!

  • you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!

  • What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!

  • Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.

  • A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!

  • Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...

  • What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"

  • There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!

  • Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.

  • What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet

  • If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.

  • American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand

  • sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)

  • A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.

  • Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh good!
    mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.

  • Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.

  • The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.

  • Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!

  • I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

  • Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !

  • By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.

  • Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.

  • Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between

  • Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!

  • Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration

  • SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.

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